coineater | Labyrinthum Inbox.

Labyrinthum Inbox.

BLACK CAT

[un: gatto]

(note: cat is unfamiliar with this level of technology/accessible communication, and icly takes a bit of time to respond.)

(for action, he lives in a smaller than
average hill house.)

. action | text | voice | video .

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Li Lianhua's gaze falls on the note and remains there, unwilling to imagine what sort of expression might hide underneath that mask. After a moment, he elects to ignore the rhetorical question and answers, still and serious, without any of his usual flightiness and casual animation.

"Lord Vaeros seems to think this would be more useful than a second sapling. As I said, it should be better off in your hands than mine." His jaw tightens as if he's struggling to decide whether to say more, whether to admit to more involvement than this, but finally he adds, "There's a book in the library that references some basic foundations of that sort of external alchemy. As far as I can tell, it's consistent with those. If it is a forgery, it's not a bad one."

Li Lianhua confirms more than he knows. He goes above and beyond his instincts, allowing Cat to know about the research his done for his sake, and yet, that isn't everything it tells Cat of the man before him. What he knows now makes his chest hurt and his head swim in a way that couldn't just be his jog over even if it was a marathon instead.

'Get your own gold coin fruit if you actually want to be helpful,' he'd told him, and Li Lianhua had gone and done it -- or tried to, anyway. That's what he's saying, isn't it? Cat's well aware that he doesn't have any intention of using the fruit for himself, after the way they'd met... Even with the little slip of longing, he wouldn't dare use it for himself. There was even less of a point to it in his mind than Cat pushing forward with a plan to rush the tree's growth.

He takes a step forward, then stops himself from taking another. With a look down to the recipe in his hands, Cat lets some of his feelings out in an exhale that shakes with a chuckle -- some, but hardly all of them that try to cram themselves through the little break he's allowed.

"It's not that snake Clarke's recipe." That was a damn good start. He still plans to have Blue look it over, with her knowing much more about medicine than him, but if Vaeros could give him a gold coin tree, why couldn't he give him a real grocery list? Unseen, Cat chews at his lip like he has to in order to keep himself from smiling -- as if that, somehow, will show through the mask. "I can't believe it..."

Just trying for him... Cat owes him more than a thanks and being open, but what more does he have right now? Never mind that he hasn't offered either, before acknowledging that even with Blue's help, it will be months before the tree is ready, he's sure. If they could ever convince this dumbass to take a cure willingly...

There's no need to think on that now. He doesn't need to find a way to scheme, and that sort of thing never lasts very long. He should take a moment with Li Lianhua to enjoy the gift he's been given. With his free hand, he reaches to take hold of Li Lianhua's arm, intending to start pushing him back down the path to his home.

"Come on, you. Like you said, it's not good to be out and about in this weather! Best you turn around and wait a while, isn't it?"

Li Lianhua's honesty is unexpectedly and greatly rewarded. Despite the mask, Cat's utter relief and joy are palpable, radiant even. Indeed even he feels a little lighter hearing Cat confirm that the recipe has a good chance of being real.

True joy is a rare and precious look on the boy, one that Li Lianhua is deeply grateful to have gotten a chance to see. But it's bittersweet, too. Hope... is not always a kindness. Not for something so unsure, something Li Lianhua still fears is more likely to fail than not. He may very well have just handed Cat a more terrible heartbreak than anyone should have to suffer. Taking this chance with Cat's heart feels as wrong as keeping the recipe from him would have been. Basking in the warmth of his hope feels like stealing from the boy, who just doesn't know the cost yet.

Li Lianhua is still caught in this dilemma when something even more unexpected happens; Cat reaches for his arm and invites him back to his home. For a moment, on instinct more than anything, he resists being moved. He knew Cat would be happy, but he never thought it would change his stance on keeping his company again. A Cat isn't so easily bribed, or at least shouldn't be. A Cat usually guards his heart better than that.

But a Cat has always been more generous than anyone would get away with accusing him of, ever since they first met. Fondness tugs at the corner of Li Lianhua's mouth, spiting his worries. It would be hard to deny him anything while he's so happy, and it would, selfishly, be nice to steal a little more of that joy...

Li Lianhua relents, exhaling some of his tension and letting himself be turned around. His steps remain a little reluctant, though, like he's expecting Cat to think better of it soon enough. Only a small smile curves his lips, guarded enough for both of them, since Cat is slacking.

"Alright, if you say so. I suppose my other errands can wait a while."

And off Li Lianhua is swept, led back to the end of the road hill house by Cat, who links their arms together at the elbow and works to catch him up on what little of the morning there was so far -- his small breakfast, and how he had been thinking of going to the market, he actually thought there was some appeal to this weather except for how stifling the mask was, although now he's got the leftovers Li Lianhua had brought on top of the other leftovers so he can push that off for another day at least, and Fiore would be coming by to cook, and anyway what sort of jam was it that he'd given him? Not only is he lacking any sort of immediate guard, but Cat seems to have simply left himself open.

It doesn't let up completely when they reach his house, but he does busy himself with getting the offerings put away and mulling over how best to lead into talks that actually mattered. Eventually he turns his head to where he last noted Li Lianhua being and gives a smaller, but still boyishly crooked smile. "You know, I had Fang Duobing over that other day, after that little spat. It made me think that maybe some wires got crossed, you know? I mean... I thought it was obvious we both knew better, when it came to what you wanted."

But he won't dig in just yet, testing the waters first.

If Cat's intention with all that chattering is to distract Li Lianhua from his worries and melt his guardedness, it's soon working pretty well. Not only does it seem like things have returned to the way they were before, this is indeed reminiscent of only the laziest shared afternoons on Li Lianhua's porch, with cakes and sunshine and good company warming them both. With every soft smile and small chuckle at Cat's happy stream of thoughts he is more drawn into the sheer sense of relief and joy, of no worries for tomorrow's struggles, only delight in the moment. By the time they reach Cat's house, he's at ease enough to offer a few words on how pleased he is with his modest strawberry harvest, how it's hard not to just eat them straight off the bush, but he's managed to save enough for a few small jars of jam.

Having accepted the fact that he'd lost this privilege, how could he not cherish it now? Maybe hope isn't such a bad thing, if it grants even one carefree day.

While Cat tidies up, Li Lianhua settles in on the sofa with a cup of water and Huli Jing curling up by his feet. Soon enough it becomes obvious, however, that Cat didn't only invite him back here to share his happiness and pretend like nothing had driven a rift between them. Cat might think he's only testing the waters, but the question of what Li Lianhua wants... It hasn't become any clearer, since then. If anything, it feels like those waters have muddied further. It sounds like Cat hopes he might have misunderstood him, or that the recipe is evidence of Li Lianhua's mind having changed... but any truthful answer he could give would just risk disappointing or angering the boy all over again.

Even so, a truth is what he should have. After a moment of stillness, Li Lianhua swallows his drink and sets down his cup, finally looks up to meet the boy's gaze earnestly. "Cat, I want to apologize for presuming to tell you to think of your sister. To be honest, I'm not sorry for telling you about my concerns... but I'm sorry for overstepping. It's your tree, your health, and your decision. Not hers and not anyone else's. On this matter, you should keep no one's counsel but your own. I was wrong."

There's only a short pause before Cat is nodding, looking and sounding resolute when he agrees, "That was a real misstep, friend."

He wouldn't have gotten so worked up if Li Lianhua hadn't had the audacity to bring his sister into it, wielding her like a weapon when he had no business doing so -- and for a cause that Fox wouldn't have defended. Under better conditions, the assumption would have been laughable. Li Lianhua really didn't understand the turmoil he put others through, or what they'd endure for him, did he? But Cat knows, because he knows his sister and how they would do the same for each other.

When he approaches again, his hands come up to lift his mask and collar away. After a small shake out to free himself of the confined feeling, he pushes his hair back out of the way with gloved fingers and brings his tired look back around to the older man.

"It's not like I don't know you're trying to look out for me. I do, you know," Cat sighs, then brings the same hand up to touch the skin around his right eye, swollen and discolored by the spread of grey scales. He wishes there was more places to sit available without having to drag a stool over so he didn't have to join Li Lianhua on the couch, but given the choice of the uncomfortable seating or the uncomfortable proximity... It really is a testament to how much he's determined to show that the miscommunication he's talking about was his fault, that he never assumed Li Lianhua didn't have his best interests at heart no matter what the other might have felt, that Cat comes to sit next to him.

"I can hardly move this eye now, heh. It doesn't even close anymore." He doesn't know if Li Lianhua's vision is even good enough to see which one he's talking about, but it doesn't much matter. It's all just to make a point. His voice grows weaker, the weariness he usually tried to hold back leaking through in this moment of honesty and vulnerability. "I don't have time to take things slow. Do you know how long it takes trees to grow? There's no way I would survive that kind of wait. So even if it doesn't work, I... I need to try something. I need to try now, before it's too late."

Li Lianhua is prepared for whatever recrimination that follows his apology and so he does not flinch or look away when Cat agrees. What's unexpected and harder to weather is what comes after that. Whether or not Cat understands that Li Lianhua is trying to help doesn't affect how he feels about the boy, but it certainly had sounded quite different when he was told he doesn't understand wanting someone to be well. It had seemed as if at least part of Cat refusing his advice was purely based in anger with him, or expecting him to prioritize his own mistrust of Iris over Cat's well-being. It's good, that the misunderstanding didn't run so deeply. He supposes he's been obvious enough after all, or at least Fang Xiaobao was. A small grateful smile tugs at Li Lianhua's lips as Cat comes closer still, joining him on the sofa.

Even in the dim light of the house, this close he can see the deformation around Cat's eye. His vision has been improving these past few days, and it's been a while since he last saw Cat's face this clearly. Though it's not the sight of that advancing illness as much as the weariness in the boy's voice, too familiar by far, that has his gaze dropping away. It's Cat telling him, showing him all this so openly as if he needed convincing.

As if he doesn't understand how urgently Cat needs a cure. How tired he is of the suffering and the struggle, how desperately aware that each day passing without real treatment takes him further away from ever meeting his sister again in this life. Most people will try just about anything for a chance at being cured. He's seen it often enough, and it isn't like he doesn't feel his own sense of urgency, where Cat is concerned. He too would do just about anything to help cure the boy and see him live the life he deserves free of pain. If Cat wants to take that chance, to make that trade, it was never Li Lianhua's intention to seem like he would fault him for it.

It would be easy to offer Cat this measure of understanding and let the matter be settled there. But there is something he hasn't yet managed to let go of, a question that's been weighing on him since the start of this disagreement. He can't quite find a way to ask it that doesn't feel too honest and vulnerable, words and feelings turning over uneasily in his mind. But for Cat's sake, he can't let himself off the hook so carelessly.

"Then let me ask you... If, after going to all this effort, you find yourself holding that miracle cure in your hands at last..." Li Lianhua speaks softly, thoughtfully. He suddenly regrets setting his cup down, wishing he had something to look at besides his own empty hands in his lap. "... And it fails, would that not be worse?"

Cat isn't so self-centered that he can't hear the reason for the question underneath words framed as being about him -- and maybe they still are, in some sense. After all, in his experience, Li Lianhua has never done much to dissuade company. Often, he invited it instead, whether through obvious hints dropped or the way he couldn't hide the way others amused and earned affection. Li Lianhua might cast himself aside readily for others, but to Cat it was clear that he longed for a better life together with someone, just as he did. Of course he would also look to another for reassurance or company when it came to taking his life into his own hands and raising it up rather than tossing it away like he had the last time he was in this position.

It still makes him laugh, albeit tiredly. He's no stranger to failed attempts or the next step being kept just out of his reach, having spent every last shard of ergo from not only his pockets, but Fox's deeper ones, and every bit of effort he'd held back over the years. The only thing that would make another failure different is that his hourglass will have run dry of sand by then.

"Not for me," Cat responds after another cough, and he doesn't manage the same softness that the other has. Just as Li Lianhua can't ask Cat to give up over the man's fears, he can't make Li Lianhua try using his own will to fight this unfair battle waged against him. "That just means everything so far was worth it, to get me here. All those terrible things I put my sister through... Besides, the absolute worst thing would be that it that really does work, but I decided never to find out. Then it really would all be for nothing."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Labyrinthum Inbox.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject